Having come face to face with my own mortality several times in the past few years, I decided to put my thoughts down in writing to try and make sense of things in my mind a little better than I have been so far.
Yesterday, with another platelet transfusion, I had another nasty reaction, which sent my body into overdrive. I'm not quite sure what happened or how I got here, but I certainly don't feel good. I don't want to think about the series of events that took place, because that would only scare me more.
Despite the weakness and discomfort I am in now, it's weird to think about how well I am compared to how I could be, and how I actually was yesterday. Once again, it's brought to the fore how important it is to have family, friends and love. Similarly to last time, I was alone when this all happened. It began in the day unit, and I'd thought that I'd be in and out within a couple of hours at most. It was around midday when things started to go pear-shaped, and about four hours later when my parents arrived at my bedside.
Having gone from something so simple, suddenly to something so drastic, makes me wonder. I look at my physical self and ask why and how I made it through so much, with hardly anything to show for it. I know I am lucky.
I'm still not sure how to coherently put my thoughts down, but for now, this will have to do. This year has certainly thrown a lot at me (I'll write about the latest soon), but I know that I will make it through. There are a couple of special people who I love and am thinking of very much at the moment. One of my friends goes into hospital on Monday for GI testing, and has had a lot thrown at her lately. Please pray for her!
Sharing the ups and downs of life as a twenty-something year old medic. I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, postural tachycardia, persistent hypotension, a platelet function defect, gastroparesis and intestinal dysmotility, and am overcoming AVM and osteomyelitis. I am also TPN-dependent. Follow the rest of my journey at www.nogutfeelings.blogspot.co.uk
Showing posts with label anaphylactic shock. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anaphylactic shock. Show all posts
Sunday, 21 July 2013
Saturday, 6 April 2013
Three years on...
6th April 2010...
Both the best and worst day of my life so far, without a doubt. At around 11am, pretty much as I type this, I had an anaphylactic reaction whilst unconscious, to intravenous Augmentin; a drug containing penicillin. Strange as it may sound, I'd taken penicillin for weeks pre-op and had no problems until the test dose of the intravenous preparation.
Looking through my medical notes, those few minutes were grim... And I'm so glad I wasn't conscious through it, because the scars left behind are more than enough for me to deal with. The night I spent in the Critical Care Unit was horrible; I'd never, and still haven't ever felt so ill in my life. There were moments where I thought I would die, and moments when it felt surreal to be alive after what had happened.
I don't know what drugs they were, but something they gave me made my whole body shake. It was so very strange not to be able to keep myself still, but the adrenaline they'd given me was making my heart rate sky high. Something wasn't quite right with my breathing and my blood pressure was really low.
That night felt like the longest night of my life. I was admitted to the Unit at around 3pm, and was there till around midday the next day. I know it's not that long, but when you're only sixteen and were supposed to just be a day patient, things like this shock you and floods of emotion are released.
Without the fast actions of my consultant, I'm not sure what would have happened; I don't know quite how bad the situation was because I wasn't awake. But I'm just glad that the experience wasn't any worse than it was, because that was quite enough for me!
Nonetheless, I can't believe I've come this far. From 2009, I've suffered from the AVM and Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, been diagnosed with a platelet disorder and get persistent stomach troubles. But, I've got 11 GCSEs, 3 A Levels and am now finishing my first year of Medical School. So many people and events have made me into a different person to who I would be otherwise, and every single person who's loved me, wished me well and believed in me deserves to share the happiness and the accomplishment I'm feeling today.
Both the best and worst day of my life so far, without a doubt. At around 11am, pretty much as I type this, I had an anaphylactic reaction whilst unconscious, to intravenous Augmentin; a drug containing penicillin. Strange as it may sound, I'd taken penicillin for weeks pre-op and had no problems until the test dose of the intravenous preparation.
Looking through my medical notes, those few minutes were grim... And I'm so glad I wasn't conscious through it, because the scars left behind are more than enough for me to deal with. The night I spent in the Critical Care Unit was horrible; I'd never, and still haven't ever felt so ill in my life. There were moments where I thought I would die, and moments when it felt surreal to be alive after what had happened.
I don't know what drugs they were, but something they gave me made my whole body shake. It was so very strange not to be able to keep myself still, but the adrenaline they'd given me was making my heart rate sky high. Something wasn't quite right with my breathing and my blood pressure was really low.
That night felt like the longest night of my life. I was admitted to the Unit at around 3pm, and was there till around midday the next day. I know it's not that long, but when you're only sixteen and were supposed to just be a day patient, things like this shock you and floods of emotion are released.
Without the fast actions of my consultant, I'm not sure what would have happened; I don't know quite how bad the situation was because I wasn't awake. But I'm just glad that the experience wasn't any worse than it was, because that was quite enough for me!
Nonetheless, I can't believe I've come this far. From 2009, I've suffered from the AVM and Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, been diagnosed with a platelet disorder and get persistent stomach troubles. But, I've got 11 GCSEs, 3 A Levels and am now finishing my first year of Medical School. So many people and events have made me into a different person to who I would be otherwise, and every single person who's loved me, wished me well and believed in me deserves to share the happiness and the accomplishment I'm feeling today.
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