Surgery and the rest...

Finally home from the hospital, and I'm feeling pretty rough. Glad to say that there's little to no pain in my hand, despite it being riddled with pins and wires. I've been having gut problems, owing to the opioids I've been on, and a gradual deterioration of my GI function since before my operation. Despite eating next to nothing, my bloating has become so bad that I've put on 3kg since being admitted to hospital and the pressure in my legs is phenomenal.

I had the joints in my hand fixed, and had platelets transfused as well. For the second time, I had an anaphylactic reaction to an IV product - this time, the third platelet pool. I was fully awake this time (as opposed to anaesthetised, like last time), and the experience was second to none. My vision went completely, I was seeing yellow fuzz, and my heart felt like it was beating out of my eardrums. I was incredibly dizzy and just felt like I was going to die. It all began with my body feeling really tingly and my skin feeling prickly, then the onset of a full-body rash.

I also suffered badly from being given morphine during theatre. My anaesthetist had said that I was in a lot of pain during the surgery (probably detected as a blood pressure rise), even though I was fully asleep and couldn't feel anything. Since an elevated blood pressure can be dangerous, they had to give me strong pain relief to decrease it. However, on awakening, I couldn't stop vomiting and was sick on nearly everything and everyone that came near me (sorry, I know that's really unpleasant!). My respiratory rate was very high, as was my heart rate - and they figured that I should have the morphine reversed with naloxone, and be sedated further with diazepam. I felt so much better with these two drugs, followed by a big dose of IV ondansetron for my nausea. I've never felt so scared in my life, but it was so comforting to have my consultant there throughout; it was the first time a consultant has been there with me, when I woke up, rather than being somewhere else in the room. She'd said she would stay with me throughout the operation and be there when I woke up, and she really meant it. I can't tell you just how much that means to me, and how relieved I was not to be alone.

Other than the transfusion reaction and the morphine saga, the operation went relatively well, given the circumstances. My surgeon thinks that it may have been too late, as what he found was a lot worse than what had shown on the scans. When he went in, he came to realise that there was almost no bone left, while the scans had shown a feasible amount of bony stock for the fixation. At the end, however, he said that it looked alright from the outside, but there was only a slim chance that the much-needed bone regrowth would occur. Of course, it was a shame, as I hadn't expected to hear this, but looking back. I wouldn't have changed my mind to go forward with the surgery. I'll write more a bit later on about how events unfolded from there. x

One day to go...

I know I haven't written an update in quite some time, but this time tomorrow I'll probably be going down to theatre for my surgery. This will be the last try to obtain skin cover on the tumour defect wound, so that I can begin other sorts of treatments to heal the bone, nerves and the aesthetics (though this is relatively unimportant to me at the moment).

I'm nervous, but I trust that God will look after me, and show my surgeons the light. Pre-operatively, I will get my DDAVP infusion and intra-operatively, two units of blood will be transfused. I have been very anaemic for quite a long time, and I quote that even my haematologist said that I am " very iron deficient". I am due to see him again in a fortnight's time back at the OPD about my platelets and he has already liaised with my surgeon's haematology team (since I'm not having my operation at the same hospital where I see my haematologist).

My surgeon is going to send the anaesthetist up to the ward to set up the lines that I will need. My veins are rather poor and we aren't keen for a nurse to do the job. I've had cannulae in and blood taken from nurses six times this year already and each time has taken them several attempts to get into the veins. Hopefully it won't be too bad tomorrow, I don't know how many lines they will need though, as it seems that I'm having so many things via the IV route. It's probable that I'll just have one, and they'll put a splitter on it (at least this is what I'm hoping for...!).

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Chinese New Year is on Sunday; I hope I'll be home in time to celebrate the day with my family, not in the hospital. It would be the second New Year running that I'll have spent in the hospital. Last year, I was in day surgery by myself as both my parents were working and it was a school day. This year will be the same, but I'll be admitted as an inpatient, but I have my best friends coming to visit me tomorrow evening. I hope I can be well enough to see them.

I don't have a lot more to say for the moment, apart from I wanted to thank all my friends who have supported me throughout these four years. I have grown so much, physically and emotionally and I wouldn't be the same person, had these events not taken place. I'll try to post another update at some stage, but for now - all I know is that I'm in good hands.