Appointment thoughts

Back from the hospital and it didn't go as I'd hoped. My surgeon said that there may still be bits of AVM in my finger but that they're not significant enough to warrant any (more) treatment of any kind. The overgranulation has gotten worse (after an improvement last week) and so we're back to square zero again, so it seems - not even square one, because it's worse than that. Today he said to me that we'd taken "one step forward and two steps back" which is a real shame. He wants the next appointment to be in mid-August (three weeks today) but remember when he said that was when I'd have surgery?

So, I'm a worried JJ about university and about things. I've worked so hard to get the wound in a healthy state and suddenly we're here, and it's worse than before. This obviously means that surgery will be delayed but I want to write to my surgeon tomorrow and ask him a few questions. I don't understand why the granulation tissue can't be removed surgically and then for the new graft to be placed on top. At the moment, it's just hard for things to sink in - on top of that, I've had the sick bug pretty much all week! I'm feeling a bit better today though which is great, but I wish I had two pieces of good news to share!

I was at the hospital from 2pm till 5.30pm again today - most of the time was spent waiting for my surgeon to make his way through the Olympic-caused traffic in the city centre! He arrived at about 3.30pm and I saw him, had my dressings done, and then saw him again. I've been prescribed a new anaesthetic drug which I hope will be helpful at relieving the physical pain of my ulcerated goodness-knows-what (since it's not really AVM)!

I was watching the Olympic opening ceremony earlier, and although Daniel Craig's appearance is rather cheesy (among many other acts of cheesiness), I can't tell if I'm annoyed or shocked at Great Ormond Street's appearance. I would have thought that the hospital has enough recognition, both on a national and international scale, that this wondrous opportunity would be given to a lower-profiled charity. Don't get me wrong, because I know GOSH does some great stuff, but it just goes to show how many people are just swept under the rug that is the NHS. Sometimes, I overanalyse things, but if I were ten years older or younger than I am now, maybe I would get the treatment and help I need for a better quality of life. If I were little, people would see the injustice of a "suffering child" and as an adult, people would be more fearing and more willing to act - if I had a (respectable) job and family of my own, who knows where I'd be now.

Maybe this is self-pity, and if so, I apologise because it wasn't the intention. Once again, the cliché proves true: money cannot buy happiness, health and love.