Frustrated and annoyed

Surgery was supposed to take place in the middle of August. But it's not, now. I don't know if I'm frustrated and annoyed at the situation or at my surgeons. My orthopaedic surgeon has told me a couple of times about "the next step if [this] doesn't work" but the "next step" is always the same as the last and we never get anywhere. When I think about this, all I want to do is cry - I haven't been in this position for a long time, perhaps not for a year or even more than that. I am upset about their nonchalance, which I can sometimes understand, given that the problem is in my hand and is therefore not life-threatening. But the impact on my quality of life has been colossal since it started in October, 2009. I've sat three rounds of public exams, two entrance exams, three scholarship exams and done my university interviews all weaved between hospital appointments and day operations.

I am indeed very upset at the situation I'm left in. Apparently there's no significant AVM left, and as much as I want this "curative" surgery, I'll be reluctant because I know there's still some sort of abnormality in the tissue due to all the bleeding I'm getting. My next appointment is supposed to be on the 18th August, the time around which my surgeries were supposed to take place. I just hate how my hopes were raised just a few weeks ago and have once again been crushed without people realising. I'd have been better off without people giving me false hope in the first place. Still, I am very pleased with my surgeon and understand that things do change - it's all just a bit much for me and it's nobody's fault, I guess. They're doing their best already and I can't ask for more from them, I just wish my body would co-operate!

So, yesterday, I went shopping with my mother in the day time and in the evening we went to my father's other restaurant. I bought a floral bandeau top and a couple of vests but not much more. We also went for a coffee and I had a vanilla latte and we bought two huge biscuits too! But they're still downstairs, in a box! I am going out again tomorrow and hopefully will be baking red velvet cupcakes! I'm feeling lots better from the stomach bug but have no idea why it lasted nearly a whole week. Hope everyone's weekends have been wonderful, and thanks for being great readers!